Welcome to The Parent Hood: Why I’m Creating This Space

By Amy Corrigan | Sleep Consultant Ireland

Becoming a parent is one of the biggest transitions of our lives - but somehow there’s no handbook, no checklist, and definitely no honest guide to the real experience. As I prepare for my second baby and look back on life as a first-time mum, I realised exactly what I needed then… and what I want to create for parents now.

This is The Parent Hood - a space for the good, the bad, and the beautifully chaotic parts of parenthood, created to support mums, dads and partners through pregnancy, postpartum, newborn sleep and everything in between.

Why I’m Creating This Space for Parents

When I was pregnant with my first baby, Nellie, I wanted practical support, honest conversations and tools that actually helped. Nellie was a unicorn sleeper (she slept through at seven weeks), but naps were a disaster - the kind that make you question your own sanity.

That experience eventually led me to train as a sleep consultant, but the truth is:
parents don’t just need sleep tips - they need a whole support system.

And after facing redundancy while pregnant with my second baby, I suddenly had the time and clarity to build the space I wished I had.

The “Magic Wand” List: What I Wish I Had as a First-Time Mum

If I could wave a magic wand for every expecting parent, I would give them:

1. Practical Checklists for Pregnancy and Newborn Life

From hospital bags to postpartum essentials - the things you don’t know you need until it’s too late.

2. Timely Reminders for Each Stage

Appointments, milestones, developmental leaps and “don’t panic, this is normal” notes.

3. Realistic Expectations (for You and Baby)

Parenthood is joyful and overwhelming. It’s normal to feel both - often in the same hour.

4. Useful Resources for Dads and Partners

My husband was eager and willing, but partner-friendly information is shockingly scarce.
Partners want to help - they just need a roadmap.

5. Mental Health Support for New Parents

The emotional load of pregnancy and postpartum is enormous.
We need reminders to check in with ourselves, slow down, and speak up.

6. Relationship Guidance After Baby

Becoming parents shifts everything.
We see our partners differently.
We hide how much we’re carrying.
And we expect them to read our minds (not ideal, but common).

7. Newborn Sleep Support

Sleep was my biggest fear about becoming a mum.
Even with a great night sleeper, the nap chaos pushed me to study newborn sleep and later qualify as a sleep consultant — and it’s become my passion.

⭐ Free Newborn Sleep Guide (Your First Step Toward Better Rest)

If you’re pregnant, newly postpartum or deep in the newborn fog, you can download my gentle, practical Newborn Sleep Guide for free below:

👉 Download your free newborn sleep guide

It’s realistic and designed to help your baby get better rest without strict routines or pressure.

How My Core Values Shape The Parent Hood

Helping Others

This is the foundation. If I won the lotto, I’d offer free sleep support to every mum who needed it. Creating this space is my version of that - making help accessible to all parents.

Meaningful Work

Parenthood matters. Supporting families through this transition is work that genuinely changes lives.

Loyalty

My loyalty is to parents - to telling the truth, sharing the real version of motherhood, and giving support without judgement.

Excellence

Every piece of guidance I give is thoughtful, practical and rooted in both evidence and lived experience.

Excitement

Parenthood is wild and unpredictable - but creating this space genuinely lights me up. That matters.

This Community Isn’t Just for Mums

It’s for:

• dads who want to understand and support

• partners learning how to be helpful

• parents-to-be preparing for the unknown

• anyone navigating the rollercoaster of early parenthood

Everyone deserves support - not just mothers.

What You Can Expect on The Parent Hood Blog

Over the coming weeks, I’ll be sharing:

• Newborn sleep advice (gentle, supportive, realistic)

• Pregnancy + postpartum checklists

• Preparing your partner for life with a newborn

• Mental load + maternal mental health

• Relationship shifts after baby

• Parenting expectations vs reality

• Practical tools that make daily life easier

• Honest stories from my own motherhood

Everything I wish someone had handed me before I became a mum.

⭐ Download Your Free Newborn Sleep Guide

Start with the basics - gentle sleep foundations you can use from day one.

👉 Get the free newborn sleep guide here

Excited, Nervous and Ready to Begin

Launching this blog feels equal parts thrilling and terrifying - but it also feels right.
I’d love to build a small, supportive community where parents feel seen, informed and a little less alone.

Thanks for being here.
The Parent Hood is officially open. 💛

Introduction: Why This Conversation Matters

If there’s one thing that sends parents into full-body panic mode, it’s hearing their baby cry — especially during sleep training. Every instinct in your body is screaming “Go in! Fix it! Make it stop!” And that makes total sense. Crying triggers our physiology — racing heart, tight chest, adrenaline — because we’re wired to respond to our babies.

But here’s the mindset shift no one prepares you for:

Crying during sleep training isn’t a sign that something is wrong.
It’s a sign that your baby is learning something new.

And learning any new skill — including sleep — comes with frustration, practice, and yes… sometimes tears.

We Need a Mindset Shift Around Crying

Somewhere along the way, crying became the villain of the sleep training story. Parents were told (or implied) that anycrying meant harm, trauma, or damage — when the evidence simply doesn’t support that.

From research and decades of clinical experience we know:

• Crying during settling does not harm the baby’s brain.

• No long-term psychological damage is associated with responsive sleep training.

• Parental distress ≠ infant distress. Your stress response spikes dramatically; theirs does not.

• Learning involves struggle — and babies express struggle through crying.

As one expert beautifully put it:
“While crying impacts you physiologically, it’s not doing the same to your child.”

This is so important. Because when we misinterpret crying as danger, we step in too fast, too often, and too much — unintentionally blocking our child’s ability to learn how to settle independently.

Sleep Is a Skill - and Skills Require Practice

This is the part parents rarely hear framed simply:

Self-settling is a developmental skill. Not a personality trait. Not luck. A skill.

Just like:

• rolling

• crawling

• walking

• feeding

• talking

And what happens when babies learn these?
They get frustrated. They cry. They wobble. They fall down. They try again.

You would never say:

“Oh gosh, walking is making him cry — maybe he shouldn’t try walking anymore.”

Of course not.
You support. You reassure. You keep them safe.
But you don’t walk for them.

Sleep is the same.
When you interfere too quickly — pick up, rock, feed, bounce — you are “walking for them.”
You’re doing the settling for them, instead of letting them practise it with your support.

A Little Crying = Healthy Learning, Not Harmful Stress

Here’s the truth:

Self-settling involves frustration because the baby is developing a new neural pathway.
Crying is the sound of that learning happening.

We don’t have to love the crying.
We don’t have to pretend it’s easy to hear.
But we can understand that it’s part of the process — and not a sign of harm.

When done responsively — not abandonment, not shutting the door for hours — crying is:

• short-term

• predictable

• supported

• safe

• developmentally appropriate

That’s why most professional sleep consultants (myself included) avoid true “cry-it-out” unless it’s the last resort or the gentlest option a family can realistically stick to. And even then, it’s still not harmful. It’s simply the most hands-off version of a very normal learning process.

But Isn’t Crying During Sleep Training Traumatic?

For parents?
Absolutely.
It feels horrible.

For babies?
Not when it’s within normal ranges, done with presence, reassurance, and structure.

The real harm is in the alternative:

**Allowing babies to struggle with sleep for years —

waking multiple times, relying on props, unable to settle —
that’s far more disruptive to their wellbeing long-term.**

I genuinely believe it’s kinder to support your baby through a few days or weeks of learning than to have a five-year-old still crying from sleep deprivation every night.

Your Role During Sleep Training: Support, Don’t Rescue

Let’s break this down.

During sleep training done well, you are:

• checking on your baby

• reassuring them

• patting, soothing, rubbing their back

• using gentle methods like Pick Up/Put Down

• ensuring they’re safe, fed, warm, well

• giving them opportunities to practise settling

You are not shutting the door and disappearing.
You are not abandoning them.
You are not ignoring needs.
You are not causing trauma.

You’re being:

• calm

• consistent

• responsive

• supportive

You’re allowing them to experience a little frustration in your presence, with your reassurance, while they learn a skill they will use every single day of their life.

Why Trying to Avoid All Crying Actually Makes Sleep Worse

Many parents fall into the “no-cry trap.”
It sounds good. It feels kinder.
But it often leads to:

• constant rocking

• feeding to sleep

• hourly night wakings

• baby wearing all day

• parent burnout

• inconsistent settling patterns

• chronic overtiredness (for baby and parent)

One mum described it as:

“I was wearing her 24/7 just to avoid any tears. We were a hot mess.”

Avoiding crying at all costs doesn’t create calm.
It creates dependence.

And the longer sleep issues go on, the harder they are to solve.

How to Support Crying in a Healthy, Responsive Way

Here’s what supportive (not reactive) parenting looks like during the learning process:

• Pause before reacting.

• Assess: Are they safe? Warm? Fed? Overtired?

• Respond calmly instead of swooping in fast.

• Offer reassurance in a consistent pattern (pick-up, pat, shush, etc.)

• Give them space to try.

• Provide consistency so they know what to expect.

• Stay emotionally regulated (as best you can — tag team if needed).

Responding ≠ rescuing.
It’s leading with presence instead of panic.

This approach teaches:

• regulation

• resilience

• independence

• trust

• predictability

And ultimately?
Better sleep — for the whole family.

Reframing Crying: A New Story for Parents

Instead of thinking:

• “Crying means I’m doing something wrong.”
  Try:
  “Crying means my baby is practising a new skill — and I’m supporting them.”

Instead of:

• “My job is to stop all crying.”
  Try:
  “My job is to ensure safety and reassure them through the learning.”

Instead of:

• “Sleep training is cruel.”
  Try:
  “Long-term sleep deprivation is cruel. Teaching sleep is kind.”

This is the mindset shift modern parents need.

Final Thoughts: You’re Not Failing - You’re Teaching

Babies cry when they’re learning.
They cry when they’re frustrated.
They cry because they don’t have words.

But crying isn’t danger.
Crying isn’t damage.
Crying isn’t a sign to abandon the process.

Sleep training — done responsively and lovingly — is simply giving your child the space, structure, and support to learn a skill they genuinely need.

And you’re doing a great job.

How to Be the MVP During Pregnancy (Part 1 of 2 -  Postpartum coming soon!)

Congratulations, lads - you’re having a baby!
Well… your partner is having the baby. You’re largely observing, occasionally googling, and ideally offering chocolate... and in my case a glass of milk.

Pregnancy is wild. Exciting, magical, emotional, nauseating, hormonal, beautiful… and occasionally terrifying. And here’s the truth every dad-to-be needs to hear:

👉 Your partner’s life changes the minute that test turns positive. Yours doesn’t really change until the baby is physically in your arms.

That gap?
That gap is where resentment can grow or where you can step up and become a 10/10 partner, the supportive hun you were born to be and the person she still speaks fondly of even at 3am feeds.

So here it is - Amy’s Guide to Being the Best Partner During Pregnancy (with real stories, quotes, and several opportunities for you to avoid being a Darragh..... p.s he was actually so supportive and still is. And anyone that knows us a couple personally, knows we enjoy a good rating, so for his efforts I would give him a solid 9/10).

⭐ 1. Help More Around the House

“If she’s crying, agree with her. If she’s angry, agree faster.” 

Look, your partner is cooking a human.
A real-life human.

Meanwhile, you’re… not.

So yes: help more. And no - this doesn’t mean “tell her to ask you.” It means seeing things and doing them. Imagine.... like actually using your eyes. 

Clean the kitchen.
Do the washing, and actually hang them to dry or fold them and put them away.
Empty the dishwasher without waiting for it to become a structural hazard.

And if she gets emotional?
Remember the sacred rule of pregnancy:

❤️ If she’s crying, agree with her.....If she’s angry, agree faster.

This alone will save your life.

⭐ 2. Be Interested… or at Least Pretend to Be

(Don’t be a Darragh.)

I love my husband. I do.
But during pregnancy, anytime I’d ask, “What do you think of this nursery idea?” or “Do you like this buggy?” he would respond with the most soul-meltingly frustrating line known to womankind:

“Whatever you want.”

No, sir.
Not whatever I want.
If I’m showing you the ninth pram in a row, I want input. I want opinions. I want participation. At the very minimum, I want you to pretend you’re fascinated.

Mila Kunis once said:

“You don’t get a say in anything.”
— Mila Kunis, joking to Ashton about pregnancy decisions

And look, she’s not wrong - but here’s where I differ:

I do want you to have a say.
Thoughtful ones.
Helpful ones.
Ones that don’t begin with “whatever”.

So don’t be a Darragh.
Pick a colour. Pick a cot. Pick a stance.
Even if you Google “colour palettes nursery neutral masculine modern” five minutes beforehand - I promise, it counts.

⭐ 3. The Alcohol Thing

(Yes, giving it up actually matters.)

When I first got pregnant, Darragh did something that honestly meant the world to me:

He gave up alcohol for the first 4–5 months.

Not because I asked - but because he knew:

• I loved a bottle of wine

• I couldn't have one

• I would have been resentful if he was off having pints every weekend while I was at home smelling toast and gagging

It was such a simple act of solidarity, and it took so much pressure and sadness away from those early weeks.
If your partner is off drink? Consider joining her.
If not fully, at least partially.
Trust me - it’s noticed.

⭐ 4. Prep for D-Day Like It’s the World Cup Final

Antenatal classes are boring.
We all know it.

But they’re also hugely practical, and genuinely the only place many dads learn:

• how labour actually unfolds

• how to time contractions

• what “transition stage” means (spoiler: brace yourself)

• how to support during pain

• how to be the calm one in the room

So go, take notes, ask questions, and ... this is key ... remember the content.

Kristen Bell said it best:

“Do your research. Don’t be an idiot. It’s all there on Google.”

If nothing else, look up:

• “How to support your pregnant partner”

• “How to not be useless in labour”

• “What not to say to a hormonal woman”

Because honestly? She’s doing enough Googling for both of you.

⭐ 5. Agree Tasks in Advance (Ownership = Peace)

Decide early what you’ll fully take over.

For example:

• Car seat installation

• Travel system assembly

• Baby monitor setup

• Steriliser washing

• Car cleaning

• Building ALL the nursery items (even the ones that make you question your worth as a man)

When you own something from start to finish, your partner gets to mentally offload it - and that alone is worth its weight in gold. When I was pregnant, I insisted that Darragh took over the furniture building duties… or at least helped. Let’s be honest: I wasn’t about to hand him sole responsibility - the baby would’ve been rolling out the side of the cot by week one. 😂 But his involvement took the pressure off and it was something we did together. Creating the baby's space, together. 

And while we’re on the topic of taking ownership… let’s talk about nesting. Nesting is very real. It’s not “a cute little phase,” it’s a biological, psychological, borderline-Olympic response to preparing for a baby. One minute we’re normal humans, the next minute we’re scrubbing skirting boards with toothbrushes and reorganising the entire house at 10pm because “the baby deserves better space.”

You can’t stop it. You shouldn’t stop it. But you can support it.
Expect the madness, expect the “we need to repaint the hall before the baby arrives” moments, and please - just nod, smile, and get involved where you can. Even better? Fund it 🤑. This is a deeply important process for women. It’s how we create safety, comfort, and a sense of control before life flips upside down.

Ownership = calm.
Support = harmony.
Helping her build the nursery = hero status.

⭐ 6. Talk About the Big Stuff (Money + Maternity Leave)

You don’t have to have everything figured out.

But - and this is important - you do have to talk about it:

• what maternity leave will look like

• what the financial setup is

• how the household roles shift

• what support you’ll need or hire

• what expectations you have of each other

Silence breeds resentment faster than anything else during pregnancy.

Have the conversations early, keep them open, and revisit them as things change.

⭐ 7. Acknowledge the Massive Difference in Your Realities

From Day One of pregnancy:

• her hormones change

• her body changes

• she’s sick, tired, sore, emotional

• strangers start touching her stomach

• she can’t roll over without groaning

• she pees every 7 minutes

Meanwhile… you feel exactly the same.

Amy Schumer summed it up beautifully:

“When a woman gets pregnant, her life changes immediately. When a man gets a woman pregnant… nothing changes.”

This difference alone can cause resentment if not handled gently.

So acknowledge it.
Say it out loud.
Ask her what would make things easier.
Check in.
Be empathetic, not defensive.

And remember:

If she has a moment of absolute madness - ignore it. Let it slide. Every relationship needs one sacred grace period, and pregnancy is it.

“Don’t take anything personally. She’s literally building your baby.”
(Use this as a screensaver if needed.)

⭐ 8. Keep It Fun, Keep It Light, Keep Connected

Pregnancy can feel heavy - physically, mentally, emotionally.

Small things help massively:

• Bring her her favourite snacks

• Tell her she’s doing an incredible job

• Watch baby name videos together

• Send her funny memes on what's ahead

• Rub her back

• Ask how she’s really feeling

• Laugh together

• Remind her she’s not alone in any of it

Your relationship doesn’t need to pause during pregnancy.
If anything, this is the time to level up.

Final Thoughts: Becoming the 10/10 Partner

Being the best partner during pregnancy doesn’t mean perfection.

It means:

✔ noticing
✔ listening
✔ caring
✔ stepping up
✔ doing your part (and sometimes her part too)
✔ understanding your timelines are different
✔ and remembering she’s doing the hardest job in the world… before the baby even arrives

Part 2 (Postpartum Edition) is coming soon - and trust me, lads, that’s where the true Olympic event begins.